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  Faithless Dreams

  The Fated Wings Series Book 6

  C.R. Jane

  Contents

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  Faithless Dreams

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Epilogue

  Author’s Note

  Sneak Preview

  Copyright

  Remember Us This Way

  Untitled

  Remember Us This Way Soundtrack

  Prologue

  17. Chapter 1

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  Faithless Dreams by C. R. Jane

  Copyright © 2019 by C. R. Jane

  All rights reserved.

  No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review, and except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.

  For permissions contact:

  [email protected]

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  For all my wonderful readers, thanks for taking this journey with me.

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  Faithless Dreams

  Eva is being hunted. Whether it’s by her obsessive ex or a murderer stalking her through the streets of New York, there’s danger around every corner.

  But she can survive it all as long as she has Damon, Mason, and Beckham...right?

  When disaster strikes, and Eva is left all alone to pick up the pieces, Eva will have to discover what’s really inside of her. Can Eva discover who she is and unlock the keys to her past in time to save herself and the ones she loves? Or will the bond between Eva and her men be broken forever.

  And when Eva discovers who she really is...will it actually set her free?

  “When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.”

  ― Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man

  Prologue

  (Aiden)

  The thing about addiction is that it never goes away. I've been addicted to Eva for so long that I can't remember what it feels like to not want her. It's an insidious thing. I know I'm sick, but there's nothing I can do to get rid of it. There was a time when she didn’t run from my touch. There was a time when her lips touched mine without complaint. There was a time she was mine.

  I’ve chased her across the centuries. My obsession with her has morphed me into something that I no longer recognize. Not saying that I was ever a good man before, but at least I had my pride. Now, there's only Eva.

  I know I should stop. Logically, after having almost destroyed myself time and time again, that's the answer. But still I continue on. I will chase Eva until the end of time or until one of us is dead.

  And it's not going to be me who dies.

  Chapter 1

  (Eva)

  It's freezing. The kind of cold that you can truly feel all the way to your bones.

  But I love it.

  Winter in New York is a marvelous thing. While others may see grey, dirty snow and ice that makes traversing the sidewalks dangerous...I see a life I never thought that I would live.

  The new semester has started, and I'm finally back on campus. It feels nice to be taking classes again. To convince myself that I'm normal after everything that has happened and all the revelations we've discovered.

  I hear a commotion by the front gate, and I turn my attention to it. Paparazzi are crowding around the entrance of the gate and I know immediately who’s about to appear. I never would have thought I would get used to cameramen being around, but I guess that’s what you get when you’re dating a rock star, a movie star, and a football star. Or should I say a fallen angel, an incubus, and a fae. Because all of those categories describe my current dating situation.

  Mason steps out onto the green. Paparazzi can’t go onto the private lands of the college so they huddle around the gates trying to get every shot of him that they can as he walks toward me.

  And I don't blame them.

  He certainly is a sight to behold. Today he's wearing a pair of black leather pants that are so tight they would look silly on anyone else. He's got a white flowing blouse that’s really more suited to a character in “Interview with the Vampire” than anything else. But the way that he has it unbuttoned halfway down his chest with a collection of necklaces is about as rockstar as you can get. He finishes the look with a pair of combat boots and a grey fur coat. Yup that's right, my rock star boyfriend is pimped out today with a freaking fur coat.

  The whole look has me wanting to skip my next class and spend the afternoon with him.

  I can't help but sigh as his face lights up with a stunning grin when he sees me. He begins to jog towards me. Butterflies take flight in my stomach. It’s not really like him to come visit me on campus. He and Beckham have unofficially let Damon have Rothmore’s campus as Damon’s domain. With all the rights and privileges to me that Rothmore affords.

  Damon certainly likes to take advantage of it.

  "Hey gorgeous," Mason says, brushing a kiss against my lips. He pulls me close, enveloping me in the warmth of his coat. I can feel the eyes of other students on us, but I can't find it in me to care. They are always watching me anyway, it’s just another day.

  "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but why are you here?" I ask, trying not to get caught up in the spell of his eyes.

  His smile drops off his face. He runs a hand through his long hair. "I just got news from the record label,” he says, and my stomach drops as I anticipate what comes next. “I can't put off the tour any longer."

  I want to cry. I've gotten used to the three of them being around me all the time ever since Mason came back from his tour for the first time when I was stabbed. It fulfills this need inside of me when I can easily find out if they’re safe. But I knew this was coming. Our little bubble couldn’t last forever.

  "When are you supposed to leave?" I ask, trying to keep my emotions under control. Mason seems to be struggling more than me as his eyes dart all over my face, emotions swimming in their depths.

  He flinches at my question. "Saturday," he says.

  I force my face not to look as disappointed as it actually is. My birthday is next week, the first birthday that I’ll celebrate with them. The first birthday that I was looking forward to as a matter of fact.

  I force a smile on my face. If I was going to be an equal partner in our relationships, I couldn’t hold them back, just like they couldn’t hold me back. "You are going to love being back on tour. I know you’ve missed performing. We’ll talk every day and I’ll come visit. The time will flash by."

  Mason grabs my hand and places it on his heart. He moves a piece of hair off my face that had gotten caught by the wind and pushes it behind my ear softly.

  "Eva…," he begins. Mason is interrupted when a footba
ll comes flying past me, hitting him square in the face. "Fuck," he exclaims, putting a hand over his face. I can see that his cheekbone is already starting to swell. I wince, knowing first-hand how badly that hurts.

  I look around for the perpetrator. I'm not surprised when I see Damon on the other side of the Green, casually talking to some members of the football team.

  "Asshole,” Mason mutters under his breath when he sees Damon as well. “Evidently I’m not allowed to be on campus for even a minute without him thinking that I’m infringing on his territory.”

  This whole sharing thing never seems to get easier, is all I can think. I couldn't have picked three more alpha men to date than the ones I have found myself with. None of them like sharing, and that doesn’t seem like it’s ever going to change.

  I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. For one of them to get tired of the situation and remember that they can get anyone that they want. It hasn't happened yet, and I keep praying that our unique past will hold us together. It has to.

  Mason takes a step forward as if he’s going to go after Damon, but then he takes a deep breath that seems to calm him down. He looks back at me, and I gently touch his cheekbone before dropping a kiss on it.

  "I'll talk to him," I say softly.

  "It won’t make a difference," Mason says, rolling his eyes exasperatedly. “He’s a possessive bastard." I smile, thinking that his description of Damon is pretty accurate. I look over at Damon again and catch him giving me a sly grin. He’s a possessive, beautiful bastard though.

  Mason pulls me close again to get my attention back. “I didn't come here to talk about him. I wanted to make sure you had some time for me so that we could celebrate your birthday early. Can I have you tomorrow night?" he asks. I feel a little thrill at the prospect of some alone time with him. It will be something we both desperately need in light of his departure. It will have to last us for the few months between now and my spring break in two months.

  "I would like that," I say. He smiles so brightly at me just because of that statement, that my heart feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest. He pulls me in for a kiss that’s so perfect, I know I'll keep it forever.

  "See you later, baby," he says.

  I watch, a little unsteadily after that kiss, as he walks back towards the gate, entering the fray of the paparazzi who are clustered like ants right outside.

  I stare after him for a moment, before turning to look at my other boyfriend who evidently is desperate for attention…

  Damon looks at me hungrily as I approach. Even though I've learned that he's impervious to cold, he's dressed like a model that's just stepped off the catwalk. He's got a black sweater on that fits his body so perfectly, I can see every ridge of his ridiculous abs. Black jeans with black boots frame his bottom half, and a grey pea coat is artfully set on top of everything. An emerald green scarf is draped casually around him, perfecting the look. The scarf was a gift that I'd given him for Christmas. My eyes can’t help but gobble him up.

  Everything has been a little too good lately. I haven't heard anything from Aiden since the mysterious dream where Aiden had hinted that something that happened with Damon in the past, something that had changed my whole future. I obsessed about it at first, but then I'd made myself relax, wanting to try and enjoy what stress-free days I had. Without Aiden’s interference, and without any more dead bodies appearing around the apartment building, the guys had let up a little bit. Damon was still overly controlling about everything, but ever since the night that we had made up, there'd been a truce between us. One where he tried to give me more freedom, and I tried to respect his need to make sure I was safe.

  Although the guys were now not freaking out when I left the apartment, I soon realized it was because they had hired guards to follow me around. Guards that didn't do a great job of hiding most days. I accepted it because I loved them. And I was just glad for a chance to feel like I had a little bit of freedom.

  My mind comes back to the present when Damon swoops in and pulls me in for a kiss that sends me swooning. Just like with Mason, the temptation to skip class and spend the rest of the time at the penthouse crosses my mind. He pulls away and I get lost in his emerald green eyes that I love so much.

  "Why was Mason here?" Damon asks, trying to sound casual. My jealous angel, I think in my head.

  "He has to go back on tour," I explain sadly.

  "Oh, that's too bad," Damon says, failing terribly at sounding concerned. It was a delicate thing, this strange relationship of ours. The guys had all been close before I had come into the picture, as close as brothers. But ever since I had entered their life, there had been an underlying tension between them all.

  I know that each one wants me for himself, and that they’re all just sharing to make me happy. After all, I told them I couldn't choose because I loved them all. They were trying to give me everything, and sometimes I couldn't help but be filled with guilt about it. They want my whole heart. But it seems like an impossibility to me, because they each held a separate piece.

  I shook my morose thoughts away, looking up at the decadent angel that I love so much.

  "Don't even try to pretend that you're not happy about this,” I tease, placing a quick kiss on his lips.

  Damon snorts. "Happy about the fact that it will be just the two of us sharing an apartment?" he asks. "Now why would I be happy about that?" he says sarcastically.

  He pulls me into his body again, running his nose down my neck and across the little piece of shoulder that was showing since my coat had slipped off my shoulder.

  "I can’t lie to you and say that I’m not beyond excited to have it be just you and I in the apartment, you know that. But I am sorry that Mason will be away from you. I know that if it were up to you, you would have us all close all the time."

  He doesn't say it with any vehemence in his voice. But I can't help but feel that same rush of guilt again. I look up at him sadly. "Do you think you will hate me someday?" I ask.

  "I couldn't hate you, Eva. Anymore than the sun could stop rising in the East and falling in the West. You are my whole world. I just want you to be happy," he whispers across my hair as I bury my head into his chest. "I just wish I was enough for you."

  I’m about to respond to that when one of the voices that I hate above all others sounds to our right.

  "Damon? Are you coming to class? I was wondering if I could get notes from you, since I missed class last week."

  It was Selena.

  I didn't know what her game was. But instead of acting like the sludgy tramp that she was, set on ruining my life, she had been going the opposite route lately. Sexy Selena was wearing a sweater that buttoned up to her chin today. Even though it was cold, old Selena would have still done her best to show as much skin as possible, or to at least wear as form fitting of clothes as possible.

  Her make-up was light today, it appeared she was going for the virginal look. Her voice even lacks the sarcastic bite that it usually holds.

  I roll my eyes. If she thought that any of us were going to fall for her act, she was more delusional than I thought.

  Damon lets out a breath of frustration. "Don't bother waiting for me, Selena. I'm walking Eva to her class first."

  Selena gets a dejected look on her face. "Okay," she says softly in a downcast voice.

  Nope, still not falling for it.

  “How is your project going for Professor Oliver?" Damon asks as we walk away, not bothering to acknowledge Selena anymore who is looking after us morosely. He puts his arm over my shoulder, so I'm tucked in neatly by his side.

  I think about my project. It hadn't been going anywhere as a matter of fact. Every time I tried to pick up my paintbrush to put something together, all I could think about was snakes. In particular the black snake that I'd seen in a vision. I had tried to do research on paintings, and ultimately, I would always end up looking at paintings of serpents or other mythological stories where serpents were involved.
/>   It was becoming an obsession, a creepy obsession.

  “Not well," I say honestly.

  "Can I do anything to help?" Damon asks, looking at me concerned. I shake my head. The last thing I want is for Damon to know that I’m obsessed with a snake that I had seen in a dream biting me. I'm sure that would go over well with him actually letting me be an adult and leave the penthouse.

  We finally get to my class. It’s at the complete opposite end of campus from where Damon's class is, but I’m grateful to get time with him.

  “You know I would do anything for you," Damon says as he brushes his lips across mine and stares into my eyes as if he was trying to read my soul. He was trying to gage my emotions. They were all three always trying to do that.

  I told them very little about what had happened with Aiden. But I slept in their beds enough for them to know that I had trouble sleeping ever since he had come into my life.

  I try to smile happily at him, it was the same smile that I'd given Mason. And like Mason, I doubt that Damon will fall for it. He chooses not to say anything though and I’m grateful for the reprieve.

  I watch as he walks away, a sense of sadness coming over me for no reason. Shaking my head, I walk into class.

  It's Professor Oliver's class. The class that I had once thought of as my favorite. But ever since he'd shown me that painting, triggering a vision, the class had filled me with dread. I sit down and Professor Oliver gives me a wide smile.