Remember Me This Way Read online

  “Tanner,” she moans against my mouth.

  I lift her up, relishing in the feel of her weight in my arms. I crush her body to mine, unwinding her hair from its messy bun, and dive my fingers into the strands. I turn around and sit on the edge of her massive bed, so she’s in my lap, kissing me as passionately as I was kissing her. I pull back to catch my breath, our noses pressed against each other. I fill my lungs as I look at her.

  “You are every dream I’ve ever had,” I say, my voice sounding foreign even to me. I cup her cheek with one hand while she looks at me, eyes open and unguarded. “I don’t think you’ll ever understand how much I need you.”

  She swallows hard, sucking in air. “Tanner,” she says softly, and the words comes out pained and lonely, exactly how I’ve felt without her in my life.

  I whisper a kiss down the side of her face.

  “Say you still love me,” I murmur as I continue to move across her skin.

  There’s a pause before she answers.

  “Always,” and a small smile appears on her lips.

  I return her smile, feeling an ache blooming in my chest at having her here, in my arms again. I want to bury myself in her smiles, in the way she looks at me. On impulse, I pull her to me again, hugged her tightly. I breath in her scent again and send up a silent thank you to the powers that be.

  “Tanner,” she says against my neck.

  “Hmm?” I murmur against her hair.

  “I really want to make out. Now.”

  I pull back abruptly and seal my lips to hers. I feel her purr in the back of her throat. She pushes me so I’m laying on my back, with her on top of me, her hair a curtain around us. Bliss. That’s what it is. I run my hands up her back, along the line of her spine until I touch her bra. She pulls back as if expecting me to unsnap it, but instead, my fingers follow along to the front of the bra, over the cups, over her curves. I hear her suck in a breath, and a second later, her delicate hands are on my shoulders, pulling me up before pulling my shirt up over my head. When my shirt was gone, she runs her hands down my chest, over my stomach. My muscles clench involuntarily, and I move away from her, remembering we still have things we need to talk about. She keeps running her hands all over me though, and I’m having trouble thinking.

  “Wait, Ari,” I tell her. “We need to talk.”

  “Shhh. I know that you didn’t have anything to do with that girl,” she says as she begins to lay kisses across my chest.

  “You do?” I ask, my heart feeling like its going to explode, because somehow, she believes in me.

  “Yes...now kiss me,” she commands.

  I flip us so she’s on her back, looking up at me with the light from the windows lighting up half of her face. Her lips are swollen and parted, her eyes heavy-lidded. It spurns impatience in me, so I grab the hem of her shorts and yank, pulling them down. I stand up to remove them and remove my jeans.

  I can’t keep my eyes off of her. She stares at me, into me, from her position on the bed. My blood pounds in my veins.

  “You’re everything to me,” I tell her.

  She bites her lip, and the corners of her eyes crinkle. “Show me,” she whispers.

  I step between her legs and run my hands up her calves, over her thighs, squeezing every few inches. I feel her skin tremble beneath my hands and I smile calmly, patiently, at her. Her eyes are burning with lust, their golden depths the darkest shade I’d seen them.

  When I reach her underwear, I run a finger just under the seam, back and forth along her stomach. Gently, I grab the sides and pull them slowly down her legs.

  “Tanner,” she pleads this time, impatience clear in her voice.

  But I still move slowly, unwilling to rush this. When I’ve removed her underwear, I take her hand and pull so she’s standing with me. I push a soft kiss to her lips before turning her around, her back to my front. I move her hair to rest over one shoulder. I rub a thumb over the tattoo on her side and kiss a line over the gorgeous curve that exists between her neck and her shoulder.

  My hands move to the middle of her back, and unsnap the bra while my lips press kisses across her exposed shoulder.

  “I’ll never have enough time,” I whisper against her skin. “Eternity won’t be long enough to love you.”

  I put my lips to her ear, nibbling on her lobe.

  “But I can try,” I breath as I push the straps off her shoulders. My hands move around to her front, cupping her breasts. Her head falls back onto my shoulder, and I kiss the side of her neck, while I squeeze her gently. “You’re flawless, Princess.”

  “I think you’re trying to make love to me with your words, Tanner,” she says, her eyes closed, her chest heaving with exertion.

  I turn her around so she’s facing me again and push the hair from her face.

  “Every single part of me wants that. I want to fill your thoughts, so that there isn’t room for anything else but us.” I push her gently, so she’s naked, on her back on the bed. “You’ve filled my thoughts since day one.” I climb over her. She looks up at me, her eyes full of emotion. She lifts a hand to cup my face.

  “You do, Tanner,” she whispers earnestly. I lean down and kiss her, feeling my heartbeat settle in my chest. And then my body joins with hers again and again, in a dance that belongs only to us, with the music only we can hear. And when we both reach our release, I swear I’ll never be happier than this moment.

  Later, Ariana lays on my chest, drawing circles with her finger on my skin. “Tell me about the last few months,” she orders, sleepily. I run my fingers through her hair as we go over all my therapy, all the realizations I came to.

  She’s asleep before I can tell her about the months of agony, of the dreams and the nightmares, the way I yearned desperately for this, for her breath on my skin, her body in my arms, her heartbeat in my ear.

  But it doesn’t matter that she’s fallen asleep. Because every single second of her sleeping on my chest is worth all the months of missing her, missing this.

  I wake her later, unable to keep myself away from her.

  “I will love you through this life and into the next. Let me show you,” I whisper to her.

  And there’s nothing gentle about our joining. Our time apart has been a lesson of negligence. We’d both gotten lost in the shit this life had thrown our way, drifting from what we needed the most. This. Us. Individually we’re broken in pieces, but together, somehow, we’re fixed, and I’m irrevocably in love with her the way I’d always dreamed of being.

  Ariana Kent will forever be my good thing.

  27

  3 Months Later

  “Justin Timberlake just said hello to me,” I squeal to no one in particular.

  Jensen growls and nips at my lips.

  "You do know that each of us has been voted People’s Sexist Man Alive for the past three years straight, right?” remarks Jesse amusedly, raising his eyebrow at my fan girl moment.

  “Yes, but I didn’t have posters of you on my walls growing up, did I?” I tease.

  And this time, Jesse growls. I lean into him and grab his hand, fluttering my eyelashes ridiculously. "Is someone jealous of Justin?" I murmur with a wink.

  He presses a scorching kiss against my lips, and I feel so happy that it seems unreal.

  We're walking the red carpet. At the Grammy’s.

  And I can't believe that this is somehow my life.

  I’ve been nominated for three awards tonight. New Artist of the Year, Record of the Year, and Album of the Year. And I'll be performing twice tonight. Once with Tanner of our single, and another by myself.

  Tanner's also up for song of the year for the solo song he put out while we were apart, something that the guys razz him mercilessly about. Sound of Us isn’t up for any of awards tonight, as their last album didn’t release in time to be eligible for this year’s ceremony. But they've already broken several records with the Grammy’s they’ve already won, so I don't feel too bad for them that they will be going hom
e empty-handed tonight.

  Things have been good, the kind of good where you hold your breath, because you're sure that it can't last forever. Dr. Mayfield tells me that this is normal after everything that's happened, and that it will just take time for me to trust that this is my life now.

  Tanner hasn't relapsed once. He has a sponsor, and he goes to meetings every week, no matter where we are. And he’s so happy and healthy that it feels like I'm meeting Tanner for the first time.

  I look down at the sparkling set of three diamond bands on my left hand, and I lose my breath for a second, thinking of last week when I got them.

  I walk into the living room, and I gasp. There are white candles burning throughout the room, hundreds of them.

  Did I miss an anniversary, I wonder?

  Just then, Jensen walks in, dressed in jeans and a simple tee shirt, his feet bare. He walks over to me, the love he feels for me shining out from his very soul.

  Music starts just then, a Halsey song that I’ve always loved.

  He grabs my hand and pulls me to him, and we start dancing, the flames from the candles flickering and casting a romantic glow as we move. He starts to sing in my ear.

  You stopped me in my tracks and put me right in my place

  Used to think that loving meant a painful chase

  But you're right here now and I think you'll stay

  The lyrics float over me, and I know this song was meant for me. Because after everything I’ve been through, I’ve finally found my safe place. A place that I can fall. A place that I can stay.

  Jensen spins me playfully, and I find myself in Jesse’s arms, and he smiles as he whispers that he loves me. We continue to dance and I bury my face in the crook of Jesse’s neck. This boy who has always been there for me, who believed in us from the very beginning.

  I’m spun again, this time finding myself in Tanner’s arms. Beautiful stranger indeed, I think, since this Tanner is alive and whole.

  The music changes to Ben Fold’s “The Luckiest”, and tears are streaming down my face now because I think I know what’s coming, and I can’t believe it. We sway as Tanner sings to me about loving me in a way that surpasses his ability to say.

  When the music finally stops, he pulls away. And I turn around and see that the three of them are all on one knee, boxes outstretched in each of their hands.

  “Ariana Kent, will you marry me?” they each ask, one after another. And all I can do is nod as they get up and slip diamond bands on my left finger, one on top of the other.

  And I know in this moment, it’s me that is the luckiest.

  We’re in our seats, and I’m tapping my heeled foot nervously because Album of the Year is the next award. Jesse squeezes my hand reassuringly, wanting me to win just as much I want to win.

  We’ve decided that I’ll legally marry Jesse. It just makes sense, because out of the three of them, Jesse has always been my rock. He’s never faltered in his belief in us. He’s never faltered in his love for me.

  And then the presenters are calling my name.

  And the guys are all hugging me and pushing me forward so I can walk onto the stage.

  And I’m standing there, in front of the whole industry, barely able to talk because of this moment.

  And my heart is exploding with joy.

  And I realize that the broken girl from the trailer park, the one who had no hope, no dreams, no future...she finally found her happily-ever-after, after all.

  Epilogue

  5 Years Later

  “Mommy, watch me,” Danny cries as he races as fast as his chubby little legs can manage. I clap loudly for him

  That boy with silver eyes, the boy with wild sunshine inside of him, and the boy that writes words that make me cry...they’re all mine. As I watch them race around, chasing the little girl and little boy that we’ve created together, a million memories race through my mind like a brilliant tapestry of our lives.

  I thought I loved them when we met, I thought that I loved them when I found them once again, but this right here...I never comprehended I would love them like this, or that they would love me like this in return.

  I know when we’re old and grey, it will be hard to remember every minute of the life that we’ve worked so hard to build together. But sitting here on this porch, watching them as the sun fades in the distance and the fireflies spark to life, I know that I won’t ever forget right now.

  I’ll always remember us this way.

  The End

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  Acknowledgments

  Well, somehow we’re here…at the end.

  And it’s a little bit hard for me to be here because I’ve never ended a series before, and I’m pretty sure that Ari and her boys took a piece of me with them this book.

  I have never cried more while writing a book. But I promised you a happy ending, and even though it hurt…we got there.

  And in my head, Ari and her boys are so happy, forever and ever in fact.

  I’ve always been influenced by music in my writing, but never like I was in this book. I would literally hear a song, and an entire chapter would change so that I could write what I felt when listening to that song. Big shout out to Beautiful Stranger by Halsey by the way, because that proposal scene definitely came from that song.

  Other parts of this book will always be special to me as well. I put little stories from my own life into my stories and I found myself doing that more than ever in this one. An example of this is when Tanner is talking about getting swept out to sea and watching as the world above him got smaller and smaller. That happened to me when I was five and living in Hawaii.

  Before we go, and we must…which is a hard pill to swallow. I just wanted to give out some thank you’s.

  First off, my beta for this book, Caitlin…you are spectacular. And now you are a doctor apparently because Dr. Madison obviously came from your name.

  Meghan Daigle, thanks for working so freaking hard on this book with me even when I needed to send it to you chapter by chapter, and even when I needed it done right at the deadline.

  Mila and Rebecca, thanks for being my girls…and always supporting me when I feel like I can’t write another word. Or when I’m crying because my characters make me so sad.

  Thanks to my family, because this takes a lot of sacrifice on their part to see me walking around with stories in my head and dreams in my eyes as my characters call out to me at random hours of the day.

  And last…thanks to you. Because I feel a little bit like Ari did that you guys actually read my work. Every time I get a message or a question about my books…I just think, is this real life?

  Thanks for letting me do something that I love so much.

  I’ll always remember us this way.

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  Other Books by C.R. Jane

  The Fated Wings Series

  First Impressions

  Forgotten Specters

  The Fallen One (a Fated Wings Novella)

  Forbidden Queens

  Frightful Beginnings (a Fated Wings Short Story)

  Faded Realms

  Faithless Dreams

  Book 7 (2020)

  The Rock God (a Fated Wings Novella)

  The Timeless Affection Series

  Lamented Pasts

  Lost Passions

  The Pack Queen Series

  Queen of the Thieves

  Queen of the Alphas (2019)

  The Rise Again Series

  The Day After Nothing (2020)

  The Sounds of Us Contemporary Series

  Remember Us This Way

  Remember You This Way

  Rememb
er Me This Way

  Broken Hearts Academy Series

  Heartbreak Prince

  Academy of Souls Co-write with Mila Young

  School of Broken Souls

  School of Broken Hearts

  School of Broken Dreams

  Fallen World Series Co-write with Mila Young

  Bound

  Broken

  Betrayed

  Standalone Co-write with Mila Young

  The Naughty List

  Thief of Hearts Series Co-write with Mila Young

  Siren Condemned

  Stupid Boys Series Co-write with Rebecca Royce

  Stupid Boys

  Dumb Girl

 

 

  C.R. Jane, Remember Me This Way

 

 

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